If there is one thing I’m sick of it’s straight trans guys flipping out over “ZOMG T’S GONNA TURN ME INTO A FAG!”
First of all, there is absolutely no evidence to prove that increased T levels have anything to do with sexuality. Anecdata =/= data.
Second, why does it matter? Woo, you might like dudes, so scary. Man the fuck up and accept that there is nothing wrong with a healthy love of peen.
The level of homophobia amongst trans men is just bloody ridiculous. Nothing wrong with being seen as a lesbian and hanging out in lesbian-only spaces, but everything goes to hell if you start liking guys. Sit and think about that one for a second. Fucked up, isn’t it?
Men are not the enemy. You ARE a man, clearly we can’t all be evil. Gay men are not magically any worse than lesbians. We’re all queer together. So get over yourself and accept that you can’t help who you’re attracted to. It’s frickin’ 2010, we should be over this by now.
You know, that whole concept reminds me of the nature/nurture argument – it makes me so angry when people argue that it’s nature that makes people gay (mind you, I’m not saying that I 100% believe that it’s not) because once something has a biological cause; it can be pathologized and then ultimately treated. I read some article about some crazy lady who’s trying to “treat” lesbianism in the womb. Awesome.
Who cares why there’s diversity to sexual attraction – isn’t it enough to say that there is? It’s a pretty slippery slope when it comes to the science and I’ll admit that it makes me uncomfortable.
This may be an unpopular argument but in MY experience; actually, coming out as trans to myself shifted my sexuality, or at least my consciousness of it.
I *thought* I was only into girls my whole life before. I had only ever dated them and slept with them. When I realized that transition was an option; I really had to analyze my understanding of who men were and how they fit into my worldview. Honestly, it was through that process that I realized how drawn I was to men in general, though I was never able to obtain the particular *flavour* of the connection I needed with them in my girl-life, if that makes sense.
I never even took T but just thinking about it made ME gay 🙂
I figure sexuality is one of those things that’s so complex even if we ever figure out what the hell the triggers are, we’re not likely to be able to change it.
The shift after coming out is pretty standard though. A lot of guys insist that it’s T, but really, it’s more to do with being seen as a guy. Guys who pass without T experience the same sexuality shift which leads me to believe that T has little (if anything) to do with it. Of course, that doesn’t stop anyone from freaking out.
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Hey guys,
Just stumbled onto this site. I’ve read a few articles and agree wholeheartedly with everything Not Aiden has said! I totally appreciate your bluntness and lack of fear of offending. I’m a transguy who married a woman just before transitioning. In the past couple of years I started understanding desires I’ve always had for men but rarely ever acted on for a number of reasons. My wife and I have now opened up and I’m wondering how you find gay guys who will fuck or date you? I know it happens! But is it just a numbers game of taking 100 ‘no’s’ before you get to a ‘yes’ or is there some technique I should employ?
It’s a lot like I imagine learning to date women would be like, actually. You just have to get out there and start seeing what works. Biggest difference is learning when to back off. Guys who are used to lesbian areas (and even some guys who are used to straight women) tend to be a bit overly aggressive. The only issues I’ve ever had with a guy not taking “no” for answer have been with trans guys who dated women before coming out, it’s strange.
I usually suggest bi groups for guys who are just starting to date men, there’s a bit less pressure and you don’t have to worry about biphobia on top of transphobia. Even if you don’t end up wanting to date anyone, having a good friend and/or mentor is useful for finding guys later on. The best friends will also tell you when you’re being a jackass, something that happens to all of us at least a couple of times while we’re learning.
I’ve not encountered this particular phenomenon, but it seems to me that it could be more to do with someone worrying about how something they consider to be a fundimental part of their identity like their sexual orientation could be not as fixed and concrete as they like to think it is, and could be suceptable to change – and then who would they be?