Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays…

…unless you don’t like your family.  I really don’t.  Long history of dysfunction.  So I don’t go back.  It’s better for my mental health.  For anyone who is concerned about their family disowning them: it’s not always the worst thing in the world.

Sometimes it is.  Sometimes you otherwise like your family and being abandoned by them hurts.  Generally though, the people who get along with their relatives don’t have to worry about being disowned by them.  It may take time for them to come around, but for the most part they adjust.

For those of us who don’t get along with our relatives anyway, being disowned can actually be something of a relief.  It still hurts to a certain extent, no one really wants to believe that their family can just toss them away so easily, but it’s easier than if we’d always gotten along.  I no longer have to worry about what kind of drama my mother is going to create.  I don’t have to watch what I say because the wrong word might set off my father.  It’s nice.

One major tip though: create your own family.  If you don’t go ‘home’ for the holidays and don’t have anything else to do life can get pretty depressing.  Find friends who aren’t seeing their relatives for whatever reason and put together an orphan’s dinner and/or gift exchange.  Become one of the regular Christmas Eve volunteers at the local soup kitchen.  See if your synagogue is doing anything for singles during Hanukkah.  Adopt a friend’s family as your own (I’ve been doing this since I was nine).  Just don’t sit around by yourself while everyone else is being cheery.

Unless, of course, being alone makes you happier.  Then you can just disregard everything I said 😛

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