Let’s get a few things clear

1: This is not a trans only space.  I welcome — even encourage — cis people to read and learn more about [trans] gay guys.  Cis people can read, comment, and otherwise engage with the blog the same way trans people can.  Actually, I value what little input I get from cis gay guys who’ve dated trans gay guys.  It’s rare that we can find communities like straight trans men and their cis partners have.

2: I flat out will not tolerate anti-cis bias.  Just like I can’t help being born trans, they can’t help being born cis.  Yes, sometimes a cis person will make a stupid comment or not know the right word for something.  That is no reason to be an asshole.  Everyone makes mistakes, just correct it (politely) and move on.

3: I don’t base the entire blog around not offending anyone.  I don’t nitpick every single word and argue over the semantics rather than the point.  If you’re the type of person who enjoys doing such things I suggest leaving.  You’ll only get your undies in a twist and I’m not likely to be interested enough to sort you out.

4: I try to avoid discussing things that I have no experience with.  This means you won’t hear much about trans women or genderqueer identified people on here except as they concern trans men.  Hell, you’re not even going to read much about straight trans guys or masculine trans guys because the blog is largely for (and entirely by) gay, effeminate men who happen to be trans.  If that bothers you you can start your own blog.  This one is mine.

5: You don’t have to read this.  Honestly people, this is the very basis of free speech.  I have a right to say what I wish and you have a right to ignore me.  You also have a right to argue with me, but if you do so in a way that is hateful I can — and will — pretend you don’t exist.  I don’t mind disagreement, it often helps me clarify my own views, I only ask that everyone be respectful as they debate.  We may still disagree, that’s one of the cool things about living in a free society, but with any luck we’ll at least come away with a better understanding of each other’s opinion.

13 Replies to “Let’s get a few things clear”

    • There were a couple of rather rude e-mails in my inbox last night. It’s certainly not the first time and I’m normally pretty laid back about that sort of thing, but occasionally they’ll come in waves and just irritate me.

  1. I am cis. This is one of my favorite blogs.

    Whenever trans* people I know say something that I consider to contain anti-cis bias, I remember the occasional anger I have towards heterosexual people (See A Queer Manifesto: I Hate Straights). It hurts to be oppressed, and it hurts even more to be oppressed by your friends, and those who claim to be allies. I think that anger is important for anyone who considers themselves to be an ally of any group, to just sit with.

    • I understand the anger — I have much of it — I just don’t think it’s appropriate to act like a petulant child all the time. I spent almost an hour last night screening out comments from a few people who felt the need to attack any openly cis person who’s commented here. They hadn’t said anything inappropriate, most of the time they only repeated something I or another trans person had said already, but they got singled out because they stated they’re cis. I refuse to believe that’s due to simple anger.

      There’s a growing group of trans separatists that just piss me the fuck off. I’m incredibly anti-assimilationist when it comes to gay politics, but that doesn’t mean I go around harassing straight people simply because they’re straight. That’s hypocritical and I will not tolerate it on my own blog.

      • Now that’s extreme. Hijacking your blog and bombarding you with mails to mob cis people out. How incredibly mature.

        • Oh I was ready to kill. Did report all the IPs for harassment. Nothing will come of it because cyber-law is still in its infancy, but it made me feel better.

    • I know I have a few cis gay readers, but commenting seems to be rare. Can’t say I blame them, I know I’m still a bit shell shocked from commenting in trans areas early on.

      • Yeah, it’s like me (I’m so white my skin is see-through) going into a people of color blog and talking about racism. It scares the shit out of me because I’d hate to make enemies right away or make them feel intruded upon. That said, I think it’s important for trans people to know that not all cis people are transphobic. Specifically, I’d like more interaction between cis gays and trans gays so that we can all see more clearly how much we have in common. We’re not that different.

        • I’ve actually been meaning to write a post on the parallels between the gay and trans (particularly transsexual) experience, but I didn’t do it right when I had the idea so now I’ve forgotten most of my points.

    • There kind of is one. Thing is, I’m just as uncomfortable with a cis-only space as I am with a trans-only one. I don’t think we need to be segregated, all that does is allow all the bad feelings to fester even more than they already have. What we need to do is actually talk to each other, something that happens very rarely outside of lesbian-specific areas.

      • I’m not saying a cis only space, but perhaps a space where they know they are the focus? then maybe they’d be more willing to post or make forum topics? I know I’d be a bit hesitant to jump right in in a forum where I would be considered the ally and not perhaps the main focus. Maybe make a section called “allys” that way if someone starts a topic no one could possibly yell at them for doing so, since that would be the specific purpose of that area.

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