How to ask out a trans man

Just ask.  Same way you’d ask out any other guy.  Really people, we’re not some sort of magical new species or anything.  Get the pronouns right, respect that we’re men, and you should be fine.  Won’t necessarily get a yes, but at least you won’t make an ass of yourself with the trans stuff.

6 Replies to “How to ask out a trans man”

  1. Yep. The best way to avoid making an ass of yourself with the trans stuff is to see it as completely irrelevant. When “how do I ask out a trans guy” begins to sound as ridiculously absurd to you as “how do I ask out a hairy guy” or “how do I ask out a black guy,” you’re on the right track.

    (It does become relevant when you get us naked. But you have to get to that point first.)

    • Yeah, this came up as a search term and I just kind of rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wonder if people really do think we’re magic or something.

  2. Apparently all the weirdos have already gotten the memo that I can be asked out normally, and unfortunately do, with regularity. Seriously, no one normal ever asks me out. I’m not single, but still…ugh.

  3. I also read the detailed description on the internet about dating a trans guy. It was well-meant and not completely useless, but I mean, most of it, your intuition makes you ask anyway, or if you’re clueless or ask questions which are not really appropriate out of naivity, the trans guy will help you out if you’re lost somewhere and get it wrong. Unless he’s so sensitive that it freaks him out, but then he shouldn’t consider dating cis people anyway. It’s not such a gap that you need an extra “howto” as long as you’re both sensitive and respectful, just as it should be in any relationship.

  4. P.S.:

    Let me add, the transness is less important in dating than many other things – interests, humor, mentality etc. It can be a no-go for some people, but other things are no-gos as well.

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