I know a number of guys who’ve made coming out/starting physical transition parts of their New Year’s resolutions in the past, so I figure I’ll throw out a few things for anyone who’s considering it for 2010.
- Breathe.Â No, seriously.Â Breathe.Â If you’re scared, you’ll get through this.Â We’re all a bit scared at first.Â It gets easier with time.Â If you’re too excited to speak, you’re going to get very annoying very quickly.Â I know, it’s a big deal and you’re thrilled about getting to be yourself.Â It’s still no fun to talk to someone who only ever goes on about one thing.
- Continue your old hobbies.Â This ties into the not driving everyone insane.Â If all of a sudden you start forgoing your weekly scrapbooking and gossip marathon with your best friend in favour of hanging out with your new trans friends then you don’t get to complain when your old friend ditches you.Â Why?Â Because you ditched them first.Â It’s great to have trans friends, particularly early on when everything’s shiny and new.Â There’s a balance though, don’t give up everything you used to like just because now you’re transitioning.
- Fuck passing.Â I’m not kidding.Â Fuck those stupid lists of things you “should” do in order to look like a guy.Â They don’t work for everyone, they don’t even work for most people.Â Passing is a combination of individual genetics, appearing comfortable in whatever you’re wearing, and putting together a cohesive look.Â Pick whatever guy clothes you like, even if they’re on the nelly side.Â Hell, pick out a few basic things from the women’s section if that’s what you want.Â Skinny jeans look about the same no matter where they come from (just remember to pack).Â Whatever you wear, make sure it matches (no pink glitter shirts with grunge metal jeans) and be confident.Â People are far less likely to question you if you act like you belong.
- Keep your style.Â This goes in with the above.Â Don’t sacrifice your personal style for anything.Â For that matter, don’t sacrifice any of yourself.Â The entire point of transition is to be yourself, there’s no use in bothering with it if you’re just trading one set of uncomfortable mannerisms for another.Â Do you like to watch HGTV?Â Then watch HGTV.Â No one cares.
- Men are not wild animals.Â I cannot begin to express just how annoyed I get by all the “don’t smile” and “don’t make eye contact” passing tips.Â Honestly?Â Most guys are nice enough.Â Most guys aren’t going to just randomly start beating you if you do something socially unacceptable (for the most part, I don’t suggest grabbing a stranger’s crotch or anything).Â You might get a funny look, but really guys are like any other people.Â Just usually taller and hairier.Â So smile.Â It makes your face look better.