As I’m sure all of us “old timers” have noticed, kids are coming out at younger and younger ages.Â I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, the sooner a kid can be themself the less trauma they’ll have to deal with later.Â However, I do wonder whether or not some of the very young kids (say, six and under) are capable of expressing themselves well enough to have their needs met.
How do you know if a kid is trans or just gender variant?Â At what point do you decide that social transition is less risky than aiming for some sort of middle ground?Â I don’t know that there are any good answers to these questions other than “if the kid is hurting themself something needs to change.”Â Not all kids are the self-harm type though, in fact they seem to be the exception.Â So how do you know if your daughter who likes boy clothes and calls herself David is trans or not?
I worry that more liberal parents are taking almost too liberal of a stance on trans kids.Â I worry that we’re taking kids and forcing them into yet another box that they may or may not fit in.Â What happens if you socially transition little David and then he’s too scared to tell you he’s not really a boy, just a little girl who likes trucks?Â Young kids are so easily swayed, especially when it comes to things like gender.Â They’re little, their brains can’t accurately grasp the subject at hand so how can they possibly answer what is very much an adult question?
I wish parents could see that they have more options than just transition or repression.Â Particularly with the youngest kids, they’re still so fluid in their identities it seems almost cruel to box them in.Â What is so wrong about just allowing kids to be kids for a while?Â Save the big gender questions for when they’re a bit older, when they can at least see more to it than wearing dresses or ties.Â I know there’s pressure to make kids conform once they hit school age, but that’s what adults are for.Â We’re meant to help guide kids to understanding and accepting differences, not force everyone to pick a box.Â Let Susie wear the ‘boy’ uniform and Danny play with dolls, they’re not hurting anyone.
I fully support and accept the idea of older kids transitioning, but with these tiny ones I wonder.Â It seems that rather than becoming more open to the idea of gender variance we’re simply finding another way to diagnose and treat it.Â As an effeminate man, I can’t support that.Â What happens when a parent finally ends up with a kid like me?Â Sure, I’m trans, but I also don’t fit most people’s idea of what a ‘man’ is very well.Â I did a lot of the classic FtM things like insisting on boy-ish clothes and not having girl friends, but I was also a little swish-stick.Â I worry that this new class of parents is enforcing gender stereotypes in ways they’re not aware of.