Going Forward

So, as anyone who has managed to stay following this blog over the years knows, I no longer post all that often.  Once a year is a pretty big deal at this point.  Part of that is because I’m well past the point in my life where I think about being trans very often.  I’m heading toward fifteen years on, I can’t remember the last time I went to a trans group, being trans is kind of just background noise.  It’s relevant, yes, but it’s not a focal point.

The other part is that I’m not entirely sure what to post.  Trans blogs and the trans (and queer, really) community in general are heavily coming out focused.  There’s not a whole lot out there for what to do once you’re already out.  That’s partially for the same reason I no longer post much, the longer you’re out the less it tends to matter, but I think it’s also a little because no one knows what to say.  It’s easy to give binder recommendations or talk about starting T.  Everyone’s excited about that first shot, everyone’s nervous about coming out.  These are topics we’re all comfortable and familiar with.  It’s harder to talk about never quite getting past dysphoria or being frustrated about having been on T for years without fully passing (yeah, that’s me, I’m unlucky).  Those things are depressing, but they’re also somehow things we don’t consciously think of.  Probably in part because of how depressing they are.

I think there is a need for a “what now?” side of the community though.  In particular for those of us with crap genetics who are still trying to deal with passing issues several years on.  In recent years I’ve started looking at being trans a lot like how I look at my depression: something that isn’t going away and that I therefore need to learn how to live with long term.  Ideally with healthy coping mechanisms rather than being cranky all the time.

Issue is, I still don’t know what to post.  I know I want to put together a post on how I’ve learnt to deal with dysphoria/not passing long term, but other than that I’ve got nothing.  So if anyone is actually still reading this and has something I’ve not covered (or that might need to be covered again given how much has changed since I came out), drop a comment.  I can’t guarantee I’ll get to it quickly, I’m currently back in school and taking an insane course load, but with summer coming up I’ll have some free time.

2 Replies to “Going Forward”

  1. Hi, Im sorry if this is repetitive but Ive not been here for long, and if youve already gone in depth about it I can just go find the post, but for a idea i was wondering if you could expand on what you talk about in (what I believe?) Is your blog description. You call it “too queer for the transmedicalist types while also being too binary identified for the current incarnation of the trans community”, and as an eighteen year old who can personally identify with that I was wondering if you could give any advice on where to go when thats the case, if there is any advice you can give at all on that particular can of worms. Thank you!

    • I actually haven’t talked about that much in detail. It’s not a thing that was really on anyone’s radar while I was still posting regularly. I think people underestimate how new awareness of identities outside the gender binary is even within the trans community. Even just a few years ago the bigger issue than ID-ing as strictly male/a guy was not being gender conforming enough. I absolutely should make a post on that.

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