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Not Another Aiden

Life of A Non-Standard Gay (trans)Guy

Fuckin’ Finally!

First I have work, then I have to fumigate my apartment (note: always trust your instinct when it comes to pet-sitters), then my ISP decides to turn into evil incarnate, I’m amazed there are actually still hits on here!

I still have comments I need to get to so if there’s anything major anyone’d like me to know hit me up on e-mail (notaiden[at]gmail[dot]com).  For now here’s a question from the Formspring.

I saw you mention on your Tumblr that you could “legally apply for a women’s college.” (But have no intent of doing so.) Does that mean your paperwork says female? And if that’s the case, how do you work around that as a stealth/mostly-stealth transguy?
- cadethedo

My paperwork right now is a mix of damned near everything. Male license and passport, female birth certificate, social security listing, and health insurance, FtM on my GP’s medical records (he’s awesome). Since I’d have to register for school under my SS info (it’s required to match up for FAFSA) I could apply to a women’s college. I’m just not all that interested.

As for stealth, it’s pretty easy. The only time I have to disclose is when an employer runs a background check and then only to the person seeing the paperwork. It does require having some measure of trust in the people you work for so I’m always extra careful about screening potential bosses. I also make it very clear that this is my personal medical information and imply that spreading it around could cause legal problems. It’s not technically true in the vast majority of areas, but I can live with that.

6 Responses to “Fuckin’ Finally!”

  1. Hedo says:

    I’m glad you got to this question. Reading this blog has made me realize I’m better off not being out unless I absolutely have to be, and since I don’t plan to change my sex marker (at least on my SS stuff, for insurance reasons relating to the whole seahorse dad thing*) and I had no idea how I’d pull off being stealth with a piece of ID marked “female.” I don’t know what the laws are in regards to changing markers in my state, but if having inconsistent paperwork allows me to live mostly stealth I can deal.

    In a similar vein (if you have the time and interest to elaborate on it, of course) — are there other potential hiccups to look out for when having mismatched documents that might require you to explain your trans history to someone? (Outside of medical situations because that would kind of be a given, I imagine.)

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    • Hedo says:

      Wow, my grammar was a tragedy there. That should read more like “…and since I don’t plan to change my sex marker (blah blah blah parenthetical statement) I was worried, seeing as I had no idea…”
      Sorry ’bout that.

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    • Not Aiden says:

      The biggest issues come in when you’re *getting* whatever ID changed. Different states have different requirements which are usually entirely different from passport requirements which are different from SS requirements which are different from birth certificate requirements. It’s a bloody pain in the ass, especially now that more and more databases are being linked.

      For example, I move around a ton so I keep needing to get different state IDs. My first ID was from CA, a place that has a really simple gender marker process. Unfortunately, just because you have an ID with ‘M’ from one state doesn’t mean it will transfer over if you need an ID from another state. When I lived in DC I had to go through their process because their database is linked to SS and they saw that I’m still listed as female on there. It wasn’t a big deal because DC’s process isn’t all that difficult either, but if I’d had issues in a state that required surgery to change your ID it’d have been a serious problem.

      The advantage is that now you don’t need surgery to get your passport changed. I’ve found that if you take your passport into the DMV they tend to not bother checking everything and instead just assume that if it’s on a federal government issued ID it must be right.

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      • Hedo says:

        “I’ve found that if you take your passport into the DMV they tend to not bother checking everything and instead just assume that if it’s on a federal government issued ID it must be right.”

        Does that work in Pennsylvania? (Or would you not know?) I’m engaged to an MTF who’s still legally male, and last time I checked PA requires an updated birth certificate to change the marker on a driver’s license (which can only be changed after surgery and a letter from the surgeon, but I can do that with top surgery), and I’m paranoid that if I change my marker after marriage it would be considered illegitimate and end up being anulled.

        Sorry I’m pelting you with these questions. It’s just that Google and 90+% of other trans resources are giving me identical, and mostly unhelpful information, whereas you’re actually giving me something I can use.

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        • Not Aiden says:

          That’s actually one of the few I haven’t had to do myself. If you give me a couple of days I can call up some contacts in the area and pick their brains. Biggest concern is that changing any ID outside of the given regulations is technically fraud. I had that problem with my passport (sweet guy in the office ignored which box I’d ticked off) and the potential repercussions are less than pleasant. In more immediate issues, if she’s ever had a PA ID/DL before she’s already in their database and they ALWAYS double-check that.

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