Update 02/01/12: You can view the updated version of this here.
Update 28/12/11: I’m turning off comments on this post because it is in serious need of an update and clarification.Â Life has changed quite a bit in the last two years and the growing awareness of trans men has impacted that.Â When I finish the updated version of this I’ll add the link, until then I just want to make sure people know that this is an old post.
Note: The title is because I can’t think of a better way of phrasing it that isn’t either ridiculously long or involve words that are either controversial (XY man, bioman, genetic male) or virtually unheard of outside of the trans community (cismen, cisgendered men).
Yes, guy in New York, there are gay men who will sleep with transmen.Â They’re few and far between, but they exist.
There are, however, a few demographics that are more open to transmen than most.Â For example, just about every gay (trans)guy I know is a bear.Â Big, hairy leather daddy types.Â I don’t know why, but they’re always the first ones to find a boyfriend.Â Maybe it’s that bears are more open minded than, say, scene queens, I wouldn’t really know.
It also seems to help if you’re a bottom.Â I’m guessing this has to do with the focus being on your ass rather than your dick.Â Personally, I think being a top is more useful.Â It can be any size you want!Â (Yes, I have used this line.Â With mixed results…)
If you’re effeminate you tend to get two responses.Â A: I don’t do girly men (which you’d get even if you had a dick so don’t feel bad).Â B: Why’d you even transition if you were going to act like a girl anyway?Â The second irritates me more than the first, but those guys are jackasses who aren’t worth your time.Â Unfortunately, the world in general is pretty sissyphobic.Â It’s hard to find a guy if you’re an effeminate man with a penis, let alone without one.Â That said, I’ve seen it happen before so there is still hope.
If you’re effeminate and you like your guys effeminate you’re like me and I need you to comment or email because I’ve only ever met one other guy like me before and we need more friends.Â Neither of us have boyfriends though so I can’t really help you there.Â Effeminate guys tend to want guys who aren’t effeminate (like everyone else, sissyphobia runs deep) so a guy who’s effeminate and trans rarely stands a chance.Â Any stories to the contrary are welcome, if only to show my friend and I that it’s possible