Dealing with the lower surgery hate mail.

Seriously, people?  It’s been weeks now and you still feel the need to bitch at me on formspring because I’m not willing to shell out $20-100k on surgical options with results that don’t make me happy?  Do you not have anything better to do?

I have spoken to surgeons in over a dozen countries about every possible lower surgery option there is right now.  I have talked to surgeons you probably haven’t even heard of because they can’t find a transguy willing to be a guinea pig for their new surgical technique (honestly, it’s likely because they’re not all that different from the known procedures and have more risk).  I learned several different languages solely so I could speak to researchers.  I have spent the last decade of my life pouring over medical books and the latest research findings trying to guess at how long it’ll take before there’s a surgical technique I’m willing to try.  I’ve done enough research to have multiple job offers from surgeons and academics as soon as I have the formal education necessary to make it legal.  I know what I’m talking about when it comes to this.

I still refuse to go with any of the options I’ve heard of so far.  Why?  I don’t like them.  For me they’re not worth the money.  They’re not worth the potential complications.  They’re not worth the risk that I won’t be able to have another surgery when an option comes around that I actually want.  If you want to have one of the current surgeries then go for it.  It’s your body, you know what’ll make you comfortable.  Just stop telling me that I think your body is deformed.  Because I don’t.  I honestly couldn’t care less about your body, it’s not like I’m sleeping with you or something.  I simply have a different opinion when it comes to the current surgical options.

For those of you who still think I’m some asshole who thinks you have a frankenpenis or something: find a better use for your time.  Go help the homeless or get laid or something.  I’m just a guy with a blog.  I get an average of 50-100 hits a day, most of them from the same people.  I’m really not important enough to be yelling at.

For everyone else: sorry about this.  I’m just a little sick of getting home to an inbox full of expletives.

10 Replies to “Dealing with the lower surgery hate mail.”

  1. If there is one thing that I just don’t get it’s the obsession of certain groups of people to take everything that is said personal or as a general rule. I thought that when someone said something about their own choice, opinion or experience, it was obvious that they were talking about their own choice, opinion or experience.
    When someone overreacts to such a statement, I’m starting to think that that person must be deeply insecure about their own choice, opinion or experience.

    I hope they stop that shit, Not Aiden.

    • When someone overreacts to such a statement, I’m starting to think that that person must be deeply insecure about their own choice, opinion or experience.

      That’s my gut reaction as well. So what if I don’t want the surgery you had? I don’t want to dye my hair red either, but no one cares about that. If you need the approval of some random guy on the internet in order to feel good about your body there may be some underlying issues you’ll want to sort out.

  2. Ugh, sorry about that mail you’re having to filter out. I thought I was doing research into bottom surgery thoroughly, but I don’t think I realized there are surgeons in more than a dozen countries doing these procedures, and I certainly haven’t learned any new languages to find out more. Presumably, you uncovered information not available anywhere else. If that’s the case—and I realize this isn’t where your interest lays—but would you be willing to share some of what you discovered in a future post? (Just the info that’s not found elsewhere.) I understand if it’s not a topic that interests you to write about though.

    • I’ve considered putting together a post before, I’m just a bit overwhelmed by the idea of consolidating all of the various notepad files, scraps of paper, etc. I’ve compiled over the years.

      I’m also still adjusting to the idea of this becoming a resource for people. My intent was never to create a place for people to go for information on how to transition or decide between options, I just wanted trans guys like me to realise that they’re not the only ones. And somewhere to rant on occasion =P

  3. Joshua- The Yahoo surgery group used to be pretty good, only I forgot the exact name. But I guess you know that one already. What countries are you interested in ?

    • I don’t know how I managed to miss this comment, they’re all meant to be emailed to me. Apparently I was asleep when I was reading it or something. In any case, thanks for the link!

  4. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having/not-having lower surgery, but you’ve got to do it with your eyes open. Which obviously you are, hence the decision not to go for it.

    I’ve gotten similar comments about my lower surgery plans. I am looking forward to testicular implants, but because of a pre-existing condition I can’t have urethral extension (probably ever). So I’ll likely be wang-less for quite a while as I let things grow wild and free.

    People seem to think I may as well not bother if I can’t wee standing — which I find mildly hilarious. Peeing is the least of the things your genitals can do hehe.

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