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Not Another Aiden

Life of A Non-Standard Gay (trans)Guy

Archive for the ‘society and gender’ Category

Fun, if not particularly polite way to deal with butch lesbians insisting on assuming you’re one of them

Posted June 12th, 2011 by notaiden | 6 Comments

My salon does quite a bit of promoting for Pride.  It’s good for business and I think we only have one straight staffer so it’s kind of a big thing for us.  Which means that today I was manning our booth while wearing Kurt’s ‘Born This Way’ shirt. Apparently having ‘LIKES BOYS’ in giant letters […]

Just because you’re a man does not mean you need to be a douche

Posted March 25th, 2011 by notaiden | 3 Comments

Something I’ve been noticing as I make friends with younger guys: there’s a horrible trend of coming out, passing, and suddenly becoming the world’s biggest pain in the ass. I’ve seen some sweet, polite, well mannered, privilege checking guys turn into people I never want to see, let alone be associated with.  It’s more than […]

“But you have female socialisation!”

Posted February 24th, 2011 by notaiden | 1 Comment

I cannot begin to explain how much I loathe statements like that.  They’re most often said by women trying to explain why they prefer trans guys to cis guys so I don’t really have to deal with them, but when I do…very little pisses me off faster. Why?  Because there is so much wrong in […]

Sexual attraction to trans men

Posted November 29th, 2010 by notaiden | 19 Comments

I’m going to tell everyone a little story.  It’s a short story, but the point of it is rather important. About a year ago I met this guy.  Maybe 5’3″, very slight build, higher than average voice, effeminate in a somewhat unusual way, and pretty as hell.  I’ve rarely met women prettier than this guy, […]

10 Moments that really WEREN’T clues

Posted October 3rd, 2010 by notaiden | 27 Comments

I already did a post on the times that I probably should’ve known something was up, but I feel like it’s important for people to realise that even those of us who did have a lot of “classic” trans traits also often had some moments that weren’t so “typical boy”. When I decided that my […]

How young is too young?

Posted September 24th, 2010 by notaiden | 12 Comments

As I’m sure all of us “old timers” have noticed, kids are coming out at younger and younger ages.  I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, the sooner a kid can be themself the less trauma they’ll have to deal with later.  However, I do wonder whether or not some of the very young […]

Some more musings on brotherhood and man-only organisations

Posted August 17th, 2010 by notaiden | 7 Comments

The “Downsides to being seen as a man” post has received quite a bit more attention than I was expecting, most of it good.  However, I feel like I may have failed to explain a few areas as well as I could have.  One of the big ones has to do with male/man-only organisations.  More […]

Downsides to being seen as a man

Posted August 12th, 2010 by notaiden | 24 Comments

I’m sure everyone knows the problems associated with being trans.  We’ve all heard horror stories, I don’t think there’s a trans person out there who’s managed to transition without some sort of crap being thrown their way, and even if by some miracle you do, there’s always someone else who can share their trauma. What’s […]

Guest Post: Sexism Exists!!!! Thoughts and solace from a gay trans man.

Posted March 4th, 2010 by kian | 11 Comments

Ever since I was a little trans boy living as a girl, I’ve felt the need to protect the girls and women in my life from those who are abusive.  Perhaps it was my childhood environment that led to this – I grew up in a dirt-poor, “white-trash” household with a distant mother, a sister […]

Gender norms and pets

Posted February 9th, 2010 by notaiden | 18 Comments

This past week a couple of seemingly unrelated things happened to make me wonder how everyone genders (or doesn’t gender) their pets.  One of my friends is trying to adopt a puppy and my section of the power grid decided to take an extended vacation.  Normally I wouldn’t bother mentioning either of these, but because […]